“Oh my god!” my partner sighed in exasperation, standing by the kitchen counter while our morning coffee brewed. She had just started a new job, and the experience reminded me exactly why most companies fail at onboarding. From confusing systems to scattered communication, her first two weeks felt more like a stress test than a welcome.
The Onboarding Nightmare Begins
It took a full week just to get her company laptop. Then another day to set it up. When the company phone finally arrived, it didn’t have a SIM card.
Communication? A complete mess. Her immediate team used Microsoft Teams. Her boss preferred WhatsApp. Someone else looped her into a Slack channel. She was toggling between three apps just to respond to a single project update.
Her calendar looked like a battlefield. Double bookings. Triple bookings. In one time slot, she had five meetings scheduled simultaneously. I looked at it and felt dizzy. She needed a Harry Potter Time Turner just to survive the week.
Why Does This Happen?
What’s surprising is not that this happened—it’s how often it happens.
For many companies, onboarding isn’t a thoughtfully designed experience. It’s a to-do list. A bunch of checkboxes. Ship the laptop. Set up the email. Grant access. Book some intro calls.
But onboarding isn’t about logistics. It’s about helping someone feel confident, connected, and capable in their new role. If your new hire ends week two feeling lost, frustrated, or overwhelmed, the onboarding has failed—regardless of how many checkboxes you ticked.
Let’s break down why so many companies fail at onboarding:
1. No Centralized Process
Many organizations grow fast and adopt tools on the fly. One team uses Google Workspace, another swears by Microsoft. There’s no central system—or even documentation—that outlines how a new hire gets access to what.
The result? Chaos. Conflicting logins, duplicate systems, and frustrated employees.
2. Lack of Ownership
Who’s responsible for onboarding? HR? IT? The team manager?
Often, the answer is: “everyone and no one.” When responsibility is diffused, accountability vanishes. Tasks slip through the cracks—like forgetting to order a SIM card, or scheduling five meetings at the same time.
3. Information Overload
Instead of pacing the learning curve, companies dump everything in week one. Company history, compliance training, product walkthroughs, team intros, tech setup, and a full meeting calendar.
No wonder new hires feel overwhelmed.
4. Tech Setup Delays
If it takes more than a few days to get someone their tools, you’re already behind. Every day spent waiting for a device or login is a day they’re not contributing—and likely losing confidence in your company.
5. Ignoring the Human Side
Finally, many companies forget that new employees are humans. They’re navigating change, uncertainty, and high expectations. A warm welcome, some structured handholding, and thoughtful scheduling go a long way.
What Great Onboarding Looks Like
Great onboarding isn’t just about systems—it’s about experiences.
Check the Calendar: Make sure meetings are spaced reasonably and allow time for solo work and learning.
Start Before Day One: Have everything ready—devices, emails, logins—before they even start.
Assign a Buddy: Give them someone to ask “silly” questions without fear.
Structure, Not Chaos: Provide a clear 30/60/90-day roadmap with priorities and expected outcomes.
Reduce Noise: Streamline tools. Pick a communication channel and stick to it.
Onboarding Is Culture in Action
Your onboarding experience reflects your company culture. A chaotic onboarding? It signals a disorganized, siloed workplace. A thoughtful onboarding? That shows care, alignment, and intention.
In today’s competitive hiring landscape, first impressions matter more than ever. Companies invest heavily in recruiting top talent—but if the onboarding is a mess, that talent may start looking elsewhere before they’ve even unpacked their desk.
So ask yourself: Is your onboarding helping new hires thrive—or just survive?
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